Lindsay (knife) Lohan Pouring it on Thick

Lindsay Lohan has become the ankle bracelet queen. She reportedly is wearing an ankle bracelet that monitors her sweat for any alcohol in her system. She is probably getting geared up for her soon to be required court appearance for her Dui charge in May. She will more than likely say something similar to the following, I will be happy to wear an ankle monitoring bracelet your honour, rather than spend any time in that skank Paris’s jail cell. I had a hard life your honour, my Dad is a convicted drunk, my ex boy-toy is a sex addict, mom’s a white Oprah, I’m a rich Hollywood starlet who used to drink and do drugs until the cows, Paris, Nicole, Britney, came home. But now I’m a born again virgin being exploited by some internet hacker who threatens to release nude pictures of me being naughty with a sex addict, not me your honour, I’ve never had sex in my life. Those pictures are fake, just like my acting sir. Please, please, release me, let me go home to my Hollywood pad, my swimming pool, the beautiful walks on the beach, I swear I’ll never drive drunk again, have uncontrolled sex with a sex addict, play with knives, go near white lines, or bad mouth my sweet white Oprah again sir. Clapp, clap, Hooray, give that girl the Oscar. The Hollywood good publicity train is working overtime under the hot sunny California sky these days. It failed to pull out of the station for Paris, will it chug chug along, past the jail station for Lindsay and Nicole? Only time and money and the all of a sudden goody two shoes approaches being so skilfully manipulated by Hollywood’s finest spin doctors will tell. After all, where else can you find so much fantasy. Hollywood survives on who can tell the most outrageous film story that is based on true stories that are really only truth sprinkled with liberal amounts of fiction. Fk, Lindsay, your lucky I’m not a judge.

Kerry Katona Robbed

Kerry Katona, baby daughter, and her husband were reportedly held captive at their home by three armed burglars. The masked burglars were armed with a sledgehammer, crowbar and a large kitchen knife. They held Ms Katona and her daughter in a downstairs room while they went through the house collecting goods to steal.

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Remy Ma

Rapper Remy Ma. reportedly is wanted by the police for being involved in a shooting of a woman in N.Y.C. She was arrested Saturday on charges of attempted murder. A block away from a N.Y.C. night club, the police found a woman on the street with a gunshot wound. About three blocks away, officers found a luxury SUV owned by Remy Ma. The vehicle was smashed up and abandoned.

The rap singer’s lawyer Scott Leemon reportedly said, “I ask everyone to keep an open mind. Things are not always as they seem.” Makeda Barnes-Joseph, reportedly the victim of the shooting was reported to be in stable condition in hospital.

Tennis Bum

A picture taken more than 30 years ago is now only available as a limited edition canvas print for approximately $600 from online retailer Pyramid Posters. The picture was reportedly taken by a Martin Elliott in 1976 at Birmingham University. The subject in the picture was his 18 year old girlfriend of the time, who couldn’t even play tennis by the way. But the picture is bumalicious for sure.

David Beckham

Coinciding with his arrival in America, soccer star, David Beckham, has launched his own blog on his official website. His very first entry accompanies his pic with him wearing, plugging his very own DVB sunglasses. David says: “Hi everybody, Thanks for joining me on davidbeckham.com – it does seem incredible that in all my time playing professional football, I haven’t had my own website.
So here it is at last.

Charlie Sheen Getting Married

Charlie Sheen, star of the television comedy Two and a Half Men, is engaged to marry his girlfriend, aspiring actress Brooke Mueller, a representative for the actor has confirmed.
Sheen reportedly gave Mueller an 11-carat, natural yellow diamond ring.
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The King of Hollywood Smut is getting married. May-be we should just say he's preparing for his next divorce.

Lord Conrad Black

Lord Conrad Black, the media mogul is facing up to 35 yrs in jail after being convicted of 4 charges including 3 of fraud and 1 obstruction of justice charge.

The Sweet Smell Of Crap

Here's one real crappy story from Japan. Seems a government employee, or someone else, may be dropping more than crap in Japanese crappers. People going into toilets in Japan's government offices are finding more than just peoples waste. They are finding money. Up to $80.00 U.S. I'm taking the next flight to Japan to get myself some of that sweet smell of Japanese Yen.
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Diddy and Kim Split Yes

Kim Porter, Diddy’s ex-mother of three of his kids said this to Entertainment Tonight about their recent splits-ville situation, “After ten years, I have decided to end my on-again/off-again relationship with Sean. In ending this relationship, I made a decision that was in the best interest of myself, Sean and our family. I look forward to moving on with my life and my career, and wish him prosperity, health and happiness in life and in love. We will remain friends and committed parents to our children.”

Okay, short and sweet, no juicy gossip in those sugary words. More sweetness than any skin-dog hip-hop roustabout deserves I guess. But then Porter and Diddy’s children are set for life with all the millions he makes each and every year. Okay, who’s the beautiful gold-digger in line for some Diddy cash. Could her name start with S…

Is K-Fed a Stalker?

Liz Hernandez is reportedly K-FED’s new squeeze. Sounds more like a stalker to me. Here’s the poop, er, I mean scoop from unknown sources, “Liz is trying to keep [the romance] quiet because she doesn’t want it to get around work, but Kevin can’t help but brag about his conquest to his friends and family. He has tons of modeling pictures of Liz in his home. She likes to cook, and Kevin loves that because he always did the cooking for both Shar and Britney,” says the source, who adds that Hernandez thinks Federline's two children by Spears are “adorable.”

Hmmmn, can you say, Silence of the Lambs or rather attack of the, yes they all want some of the sperm man. He better stick with rich girls or he will have to work until he's 90 just to pay college tuition.

Meet Tiny

Tiny the Great Dane sure is tiny. Just barely reaching 7ft 3inches, standing on hind legs, he could just be the tallest dog in the world.
Check him out at Metro.co.uk.

Queen Latifah

Queen Latifah was looking hot, hot, hot in the blonde wig she wore for the Los Angeles premiere of Hairspray on Tuesday.

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz reportedly said she can't work out too much or else she begins to look like a man. In Cosmopolitan magazine Cameron said, “Because of my muscle definition, I can get a very man-like appearance, which I don't like.”
I think may-be she is already a man in a woman’s body. Who else could act so spacey except a man. May-be she should join up with the other aliens, TomKat, Posh, And the Travolta’s. Cameron would fit right in. But she is still my favorite Martian!

The Beckhams Invade America

Here are the just ordinary Beckhams showing their goodies in W mag. No ordinary two-some here. They are the hot new sexy American couple. They sure know how to milk the media dry.








He's got to be the hottest soccer player now in America.




Posh even looks hot,at least from the back view.

Britney Spears Smoking

Here's Britney being a good role model for the children again. That girl can afford nannies, so use one when you need a smoke. Better yet QUIT! Set a good example. But I guess trashy is what trashy does. Bring in the clowns.

Sienna Miller

The make-up was flying in Rome as Sienna Miller celebrated Valentino’s anniversary. Her dark eyebrows and make-up caused eyes to pop and heads to turn. The red dress she wore was beautiful. Check out the before and after make-up pics. Diddy must of seen her after a make-up session.







BEFORE
AFTER

Spice Girl Geri Halliwell Builds Wall

Geri Halliwell, Spice Girl, is building her own Great Wall of China it seems. To protect her privacy she is reportedly building a 12 foot wall around her $8 million home in North London. She lives there with her 1yr. Old daughter, Bluebell Madonna. Wow, what a name. Reportedly part of the name comes from her own nickname, dumbbell. Coming from her space cadet mother it’s no wonder. Geri’s neighbours are said to be in an uproar over the huge ugly wall. Now if we could convince the neighbours to lock her behind the wall, we wouldn’t have to put up with her big ego.
Maybe she needs it to hide her personal trainer.

Victoria Beckham

Super space cadet Victoria Beckham is reportedly going to cash in approximately $140,000 for appearing in two episodes of Ugly Betty. The part requires her to be herself on the show but I don’t believe she can pull it off. After all her reality show was cut from a series to just a one hour show, reportedly because it was so-oooo boring. This Ugly Betty part must be a make-up part to soothe her massive ego. Also there are rumours she will rake in about $20 million with her bandmates for the up coming Spice Girls tour. Her head should explode sometime next February. She on the right show though....UGGGLY!!!

Hugh Grant is Really Santa Claus

Divine Brown, aka Little Red Riding Hood, or Stella Marie Thompson, turned a trick into a million dollar payday. Her illegal meeting with Hugh Grant on Sunset Boulevard made the Hollywood hooker a millionairess. Not bad for what was only a $60 sexapade. Hugh was in a BMW and Little Red Riding Hood was strutting her basket of goodies on Sunset Boulevard’s sidewalks on June 27, 1995. Because Grant’s foot kept pumping the brake pedal while Red Riding Hood was pumping the celebrity’s manhood, the car’s flashing brakes lights caught the attention of the police. Grant got fined approximately $1600 and ordered to join an aids awareness program and got 2 years probation after his no contest plea. Hugh Grant apologized on The Tonight Show, while Little Miss Riding Hood went on practically any talk show and spilled the beans. Reportedly she cashed in a whopping $1.6 million from the publicity alone. The pretty woman hooker sucked her way into instant celebrity and riches. There is a Santa Claus after all and in this case his name was Hugh Grant. I knew I liked something about those Brits.
Full story at The Daily Mail.

Diddy and Kim Split???

Rumour has it that Diddy And his main squeeze, Kim Porter, are splitting up. Sienna Miller is rumoured to be the other woman. After Sienna presented at the Concert for Diana Diddy asked her to a private dinner. Then Diddy reportedly serenaded her at Cipriani's restaurant with a song or a rap. The booze was flowing and sounds like it was a helluva party. Maybe that's all it was. Diddy letting loose after meeting British Royality.

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Gets Into I'm So Good Message For July 4th Holiday.

Don't Drink and Drive This You Might Get Herpes.

iPhone

The much-hyped super iPhone has landed in Apple stores. It melds a phone, web browser and media player into one device, and costs $500 to $600 (US).
Customers of the iPhone need lots of cash because besides the purchase price, reportedly there’s a required service contract that starts at roughly $1400 for two years. Wowsers. I wonder if the device even last two years before burning and crashing to replacement heaven. Some customers are reportedly having a difficult time getting their iPhones activated.

Joss Stone and Tom Jones at Diana Concert

Here's a video of Joss Stone Rocking The UK Hall of Fame

Princess Diana Concert

The two princes of Buckingham Palace get set to honour their Mother, Princess Diana with a huge concert on Sunday for her birthday.
"We wanted to have this big concert, full of energy, full of the sort of fun and happiness which I know she would have wanted," William said. "And on her birthday as well – it's got to be the best birthday present she ever had."
Sir Elton "helped massively just by saying yes, and obviously, a personal request from us is to do `Candle in the Wind,'" Harry told the BBC.
The tickets reportedly cost $90, with proceeds going to causes Diana supported, including land mine and AIDS charities. Should be quite the concert.

Carrie Underwood

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), has made Carrie Underwood the world’s sexiest celebrity veggie eater. Carrie was also honoured for her work to rescue stray puppies and kittens. "I do it because I really love animals and it just makes me sad." Underwood was quoted as saying.